Today I had quite the revelation....I was getting ready for work and realizing that tomorrow is my second expansion. And while that is a great thing and something I've been looking forward to the last few days, I realize what I'm doing. I am doing that thing we sometimes do. We put all of our effort into an event/date/day and count down until that thing/time/day arrives and then we look back and we've missed all of the days leading up to it. Life is about the journey not the destination, as they say, and today I realized I have been living my last few weeks only focusing on my destination (the final surgery). I haven't been soaking in and enjoying the journey each day, whether good or bad and now I feel at a loss almost, that so much time has passed since my surgery (25 days) and can't remember all of it and I can't blame it ALL on pain pills. I want to soak in each day from here on out, when/if possible, and no matter if it's a good, pain free day or a bad, sad or pain filled day, I want to accept it and sit with it. I'm so use to distracting myself when things happen that I don't like or when feelings come up that I don't want to deal with. I know it is much healthier to sit with those things/feelings/emotions, process them, learn from them, then put on my big girl panties and move on....but that is sometimes easier said then done. Here's hoping! Here's to enjoying the journey and not just looking for and counting down to the destination.
1 Comment
8/12/2014 12:06:17 pm
So very true. I think we are all like that and it's nice to be reminded to stop of focusing so much on "the end". :)
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About This Blog:This is my journey to beat breast cancer before it beats me, by undergoing a non-nipple sparing, prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. Archives
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