And if that wasn't enough then we started to talk about the societal pressure I feel to get married and have kids while also knowing in the back of my mind that one day, soon, I will need to consider having a prophylactic oophorectomy (complete hysterectomy) since my rate of ovarian cancer is up to 54%! I use to think I'd be married and have kids at the age of 26 but that has not happened for me and while I'm okay and very happy with where I am in my life, you should see the looks I get when I tell people that I may never get married or I may never procreate. While I realize that that is not my burden, others' opinions, it does effect me if I'm being perfectly honest. Then I start to think to myself, WHY, why do I not want to get married....why might I never have a kid....what is wrong with me? Is this a reflection of my current choices in life? Can I make better or different choices? Then that led to talk of freezing my eggs which is a "mere" $5000+ procedure. But if I have a hysterectomy, who would carry my future babies if I go that route? It's like a big snowball as you can see and was very emotional. I was very happy that my doctor spent almost an HOUR with me and wasn't rushing out of the room. Yes, I was that girl who made everyone else wait in their waiting rooms...SORRY! Her kindness and shoulder to literally cry on meant so much to me and all I could think was how can I educate other doctors out there? What can I do so that they are equipped to help other sobbing patients like myself? I just want to help and make an impact!
I am currently in a position where I have decided to quit teaching after this year. It is no longer my passion. I still love kids and while I will miss the day to day interactions with them and their precious innocence, my passion has recently changed. I still want to educate but I want to educate women and doctors and anyone who will listen. I hope my role as Austin's Bright Pink Education Ambassador will open a new door or doors for me so that I can fulfill this new passion that burns inside of me.
Since this post was such a downer, I have to leave you on a HILARIOUS note. If you have never seen this video, prepare to pee yourself. If you have, enjoy the laugh as did I. I maaaaay have watched this about 5 times already. ;) Thank you for reading my blog and allowing me to share my deepest thoughts and concerns. It truly is therapeutic!