In my last post I mentioned a trip my boyf and I took to Oregon. While we were there, we visited Crater Lake. One morning while sitting on the edge of a cliff/overlook enjoying our coffee I joked about how if/when we had a baby that we should bring it with us and Instagram about it, #backpackingwithbaby. As we discussed and laughed through the logistics of bringing a baby backpacking one thing that came up was milk/formula - feeding the baby. While it was a harmless conversation, I realized that I would not be able to breast feed my future baby, and while that was not a breaking news story, it was still a HUGE pill to re-swallow. Kody, trying to be helpful, offered suggestions like bringing along a milk nurse/surrogate and instantly I felt my momma bear instincts kick in. I found a lump swelling up in my throat as I tried to express that NO ONE would feed my baby but me, even if it had to be formula or milk from a milk bank. Although it was just a "what if" conversation I found myself getting extremely emotional over the realization that I will never get that chance to bond with my baby through breast feeding. I know it's not the only way and I know some women that CAN breast feed, don't. In all honesty, that was the one thing I really struggled with giving up when I was deciding on doing my mastectomy (if you're a new reader you may need to read back to one of my first posts where I explained why I was doing a non-nipple sparing mastectomy due to my mom's cancer history). But I figured I better at least make sure I'm alive and healthy to even conceive a baby before I worrying about the implications of not breast feeding. While I'm not even sure if I will have kids, it is something that will surely come back to haunt me.
My boyf and I decided we were long overdue for some camping and a trip so off we headed to Oregon on July 25th. We flew so we'd have more time to explore. We ended up delayed in San Francisco for 4 hours so we didn't get in until almost 10 pm and by the time we got the rental care it was after 11 pm. We made a quick stop at Safeway and off we went to find a place to sleep. We ended up sleeping in the parking lot of Multnomah Falls, which worked out great as we woke up at 6 AM and hiked up the short distance to see the gorgeous falls before everyone else arrived with their cameras. Gorgeous to say the least! Then we headed to Mt. Hood where we ended up getting rained on but camped anyways. Took us over an hour to get/keep a fire going. We woke up freezing, threw our crap in our packs and hiked back out to the car. Then off we went to Bend. Bend is a great little town but very touristy. We grabbed a beer, some pizza, camp supplies and a map, then headed off to hike and camp in the Three Sisters Wilderness. It was so gorgeous out there! We hiked and camped for 2 days and nights. We had read online about a "secret" trail to an amazing overlook spot and boy was it just that, AMAZING. It was a hell of a steep hike but up we went. When we got to the top we could see Mt Hood, Mt Jefferson, the 3 Sisters and so much more of God's beauty. Breathtaking is the only word I can use to describe it! Next we headed back to Bend to stay at night with a guy we rented a room from on AirBNB. For $69 we had a room to stay in, washer/dryer access, food and bikes to pedal around town. We went on a brews cruise of our own stopping first at an awesome little bar called Boneyard. It's basically in an old garage and all they offer is growler fills or a 5 beer flight for $10 - we had the flight and I found a new fave...Boneyard Diablo Rojo. Then off we went to Bend Brewing Company and ended at Crux for more beer and food. We slept like rocks that night then rented mountain bikes in town the next AM and I tried mountain biking for the first real time - NOT MY THING! Next we were off to the coast of Oregon. A friend had told Kody about a bike scavenger hunt where they were hiding and giving away an awesome blue fat tire bike. We just so happen to find a spot on the beach close to where we thought the bike would be hiding based on the internet clues we read. After another night of sleeping in the car we were up at 5:30 AM and off we went in the dark to search for said bike. After a 3 hour search on the beach we saw on Twitter the bike had been found farther up the beach then we could have made it. Oh well, still a lot fun. Our next stop was Crater Lake and MY OH MY was it gorgeous! We arrived as the sun was setting and the moon was coming into view. It was so beautiful. We took some pics then set up camp and off to sleep we went. We woke up early, packed up and hiked up to see the sun rise. We made camp coffee and ate pop-tarts and oatmeal on the edge of a cliff overlooking Crater Lake and Wizard Island. It was my absolute favorite part of the whole trip! Lastly, we headed into Portland and stayed with a friend of Kody's. They took us around and showed us all around Portland...such a near city. We biked a little more and enjoyed sleeping on an air mattress those last 2 nights before heading back to the airport to fly home. Such a wonderful trip but it was one of those trips where you need a vacation from your vacation, LOL! The weather and colors were the best. I can't wait to head to the mountains again soon. As far as how I faired physically (post surgery) there was no concern, nothing stopping me from hiking, camping, sleeping on the ground or in the car or toting my 30+ lb backpack on my shoulders/back for hours at a time. I didn't feel like someone recovering from surgery so I guess I'd say that I'm pretty darn close to 100% healed if not all 100%!
***Kody took so many amazing photos but this is one of my favorites: One year ago TODAY I underwent my prophylactic bilateral mastectomy! I just can't believe an entire year has past. I can't believe how many surgeries and doctor's appointments I've been through and to. It all seems like a blur and like it was ages ago yet I am still not 100%. Let me update you since I've been terrible at blogging since it's summer and as a teacher I am so fortunate to have the whole summer off. I have been taking FULL advantage of it too!
I completed my 2nd areola tattooing back on May 28th and all went well and that appointment went much faster. She filled in the areola with more color pigment and tried to even them out and make any corrections as this was supposed to be my last appointment. When I went back in for my final check up and for my "after" photos, Dr. Mosier asked me to do one more set of tattooing which I knew it would. He is a perfectionist and while I am happy with them, they are definitely a bit uneven in color. So I will go back again in August to do my last tattoo touch up for a while. I'm kind of bummed because after that I will not need to see Dr. Mosier again. Sad! I have FINALLY added the pictures from the liposuction (AWFUL) I had back in December. I will also work on adding current photos now that I am one year post op! Today I got my FIRST opportunity to share Bright Pink's mission with a whole bunch of ladies in pink at the Mary Kay seminar in Dallas, Texas. I woke up and was on the road by 7 AM so that I had plenty of time to arrive and set up the Bright Pink booth. Somehow I still managed to be late (maybe my stop at The Czech Stop for a blueberry kolache). After finding parking and stumbling in to the conference center, I located my booth and was setting up when tons of eager ladies came up to talk to me about Bright Pink. I was so happy to talk to them but wish I had been there earlier so I could have been ready for them. In a matter of 2 hours I had shared who Bright Pink is, their mission, and passed out some swag to over 100 women! Then at 12:30 pm it was my turn to do the Brighten Up presentation. Of course I still needed my power point notes and I didn't really have an engaged audience as I was just talking out to anyone who would listen in this HUGE conference center. While I was happy to have been able to go through the presentation in front of others and share the word, I learned that I REALLY need to work on memorizing it and need to cut down on all the "facts/data" and trim it down so it's not so overwhelming. The presentation is FULL of medical information, percentages, data and much more. It's a great presentation but with 20 minutes and 37 slides, you either have to talk fast or trim the fat!
Overall it was a great experience and I can't wait to do it again, BETTER, here in Austin! I think I nailed myself a spot at the Physique Austin event - read more about it here! Basically it's Austin's largest health, lifestyle, beauty and fashion event, to benefit the Susan G Komen organization. I had been following their Instagram page (@physiqueaustin) for weeks and finally decided to just pick up the phone and call to inquire. I ended up speaking directly to the lady managing the entire event! I gave her my shpiel and sent an email over to her explaining how I thought I could fit into this event. Turns out she may have a 20 minute speaker slot for me! I should know more in the next few weeks as the event is on September 19, 2015. Saturday Kody and I attended the 2015 Art Bra Austin at the Austin Music Hall and it was such a great time and for a wonderful cause, the Breast Cancer Resource Center. We arrived at 6 pm and after checking in and getting 2 free drink coupons each, we made our way upstairs to fill up our bellies. They had free food from a variety of food vendors that were all offering one bite/small food items. Some of the vendors included Cover 3, Moonshine, Dunkin' Donuts, NXNW, Foxhole Tavern and more! We definitely filled up, grabbed some wine and headed to our table to meet Dr. Mosier. The show started at 7:30 pm and it was so awesome! We had a table near the runway so we could clearly see each model and each unique and amazing bra! There were 5 to bid on during the runway show including a Kendra Scott bra that was so cool, but all of those bras went for over $1,000 each. While that is great news for the BCRC it was not good for my empty pockets, LOL. I really wish I could have afforded to buy one but I have decided to try my hand at decorating a bra for next year's show instead! I also got to see my friend Vanessa during and then after the show. She did a wonderful job modeling and said she had so much fun! Vanessa was diagnosed in December with breast cancer and had just finished her last round of chemo the week of the Art Bra! If you have any ideas or suggestions on an art bra design, please let me know. I hope to attend again next year and every year for that matter! Here are some pics from the show: Yes you heard me right! I got an email from Dr. Mosier's office last week telling me that Aetna, my insurance, is trying to deny payment for my areola tattoos. They sent me copies of the letter(s) they have written to Aetna explaining that this was not a cosmetic tattoo and that I have rights to finish my mastectomy process plus the fact that they called and asked about pre-certification, to which they were told it wasn't necessary. I am very confident Dr. Mosier's letter will get the job done but the shocking part was seeing that the total was $1800 for the 2 nipple/areola tattoos. I have 2 other tattoos and I'm pretty sure they were about 5% of that price and are bigger in size...WTH?!
It's been 6 days since I got my areola tattoos and I can't tell you how much I really love them! As I mentioned in my last post, it took me a few days and some worrying but now I am so happy with them. Head over to the photo gallery to see a couple of new photos I just added.
I ended up with a nasty little allergic reaction (rash) from the band-aid adhesive which was very itchy and tender, about 3 days in. I had to get creative and cut the adhesive off my bandages and just taped them on with waterproof medical tape. Lord knows my body is use to that stuff after all of the surgeries! The first couple of days weren't very fun because I had to glob on A&D ointment, bandage them and check them every few hours to make sure the tattoos weren't sticking to the band-aids. I got to let them "air out" an hour a day which was nice but walking around topless with blinds/patio open mid afternoon isn't exactly something I was use to, LOL. I could shower and bathe but just had to make sure the water didn't hit directly on my tattoos. By Sunday (5 days later) the tattoos started peeling and I didn't have to do the bandages anymore. The bandaging was kind of an annoying task but I'm glad to be done with that. Right in time for a little pool side lounging yesterday! I am still sticking to my T25 workout and trying to get bathing suit ready. My b-day is one short month away and decided on a pool party at our apartment! Now let's hope I can find a bathing suit top that can lasso these girls in and that Shaun T can get my butt in shape. Yesterday I had my appointment to get my areola tattoos at Dr. Mosier's office and it went really well! I went in at 1:10 pm and was done by 2:40 pm but a lot of that time was spent chatting at first and the woman setting up. I learned a lot during my tattoo session that makes me feel so much more informed about tattoos vs. permanent makeup and what she does. I now am so glad that a permanent makeup artist did my tattoos rather than a tattoo artist. She started out in permanent makeup but always wanted to do areola tattoos for women like me and breast cancer survivors going through the reconstruction process. One thing I found fascinating was that she doesn't tattoo as deep as a regular tattoo and she uses color pigments instead of ink. The skin has to have a few days to soak in the pigment and then it becomes permanent. I can't believe the BIG day has come! Tomorrow I get my areola tattoos (previously referred to as my nipple tattoos) at 1:10 pm at Dr. Mosier's office. Of course a big part of me is nervous but mostly I am just excited. It's obviously very bittersweet because as much as I want this all to be over, I can't believe it's all almost over! I will have to go back in 6 weeks for a touch up and then probably again in another 10 years. It all depends on my skin but since I'm fairly young, Dr. Mosier thinks 10 years is definitely doable. I am taking a 1/2 day and Kody is going with me; thank gawd for another man's opinion on this one! We will pick a color based on my beginning pics and then the tattoo lady will draw the size/shape on to make sure it's what I want. Then it's on! Like every major doctor's appointment, we are going out for beer and pizza after at Pinthouse Pizza, so amazing!
On a side note, I just started Focus T25 and can't wait to get through these first 5 weeks of the program called the Alpha phase. Today was the first workout, the cardio workout and while I consider myself in pretty good shape, DAY-YUM! I had no idea I could bust that much of a move and drip so much sweat in 25 short minutes. I have a feeling I am going to love this workout! The only downside I see is the fact that it's a lot of jumping around and as I previously mentioned in a post, my implants do this weird tingling thing during and after. I am going to try to remember to ask Dr. Mosier about that weirdness. Finding a sports bra to handle that much BOUNCE is going to be hard. I was terribly disappointed in how "bullet proof vest'ish" the full coverage sports bras look and feel. I even tried on a super nice one from LuLuLemon called the Ta Ta Tamer hoping to feel better about the situation, but couldn't commit to buying it. It just makes me feel so BIG and like I'm wearing three layers....oof! I may go back and try one level down for coverage to see if those are a little less abrasive. I will post some pics after tomorrow's appointment and FINALLY upload the liposuction/nipple reconstruction pics! |
About This Blog:This is my journey to beat breast cancer before it beats me, by undergoing a non-nipple sparing, prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. Archives
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